🚨 BLIZZCON UPDATE 🚨

we knew it was coming but here we are. i've gotten a lot of questions as to whether or not i was gonna make an appearance at this year's blizzcon, which is fair. believe it or not that was the question i got asked as much as "blizzcon.... in september???" yes. i will keep it as simple as possible, and i don't want this to become an invitation to hassle me about this or ask me more questions.

basically: at this point, as of me writing this, i am in no condition to do my usual event shit. if i feel good enough to go when blizzcon is like, 2-3 weeks away, which gives me time to prepare and see if i can adequately attend/perform, then i will be there. commiting to going when i have no idea if i will feel good enough is frankly idiotic and something i won't do.

THAT BEING SAID........

IF I MAKE THE UNFORTUNATE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT I WILL NOT BE THERE IT'S BECAUSE I AM STILL FEELING VERY BAD!!!

THIS ALSO MEANS......

as i have said a hundred times already, if you make blizzcon plans EXCLUSIVELY to see me i will not feel bad for you if i cannot go! i will not be made to feel bad about anything pertaining to me missing blizzcon! your poor decision making and refusal to listen are not my problem!

i sincerely hope that i will not have to miss out AGAIN, but my health matters if you even want me at these things. and in general... i guess...

IN OTHER NEWS the album is about 85% done. it's out next month! scary!

quite a few people have been asking me about my medical situation and while i'm grateful, i'm not interested in indulging too much information.

basically, the swelling from the surgery, then the subsequent trauma, has not gone down in any capacity and i'm currently in the medical limbo phase. physical movement is very difficult, and painful, for me, which is why i am currently trying to avoid as much of my usual routine as i can. for example, i literally cannot bend down unless i want to black out and start sobbing. can't sleep in my preferred position either. sitting up at my pc properly? nope. you get the idea.

all that to say, i'm waiting on tests and scans and trying not to aggravate anything, per my doctor's orders. and in case that wasn't painfully obvious, i can't do my work very well. so, much to the chagrin of my fanbase, zero appearances and next to nothing from me. weird, right?

anyway. i guess for about ten years or so, i had been looking for a community/website that i was a part of when i was 13-14. basically, it was cat versions of anime characters. and eventually, the site owner had staff members to draw custom cats for visitors. for years, i was trying to find that site again. i tried every term i could think of. until 2 days ago i said "fuck it" and looked at my (cringe) deviantart account from when i was 13. i deleted everything in a fit when i was a bit older, so i wasn't really expecting to see anything. but i still scoured and scoured and scoured. until i happened upon a geocities link. my old website! then even more memories flooded because i found a site. and that site was ghost's anime kitties.

oh how happy i was to find something so pivotal to my youth. no joke. because after finding that, i was able to find my other former community, the one i was actually looking for first, the sphynx adoption center. (no link cause rip and i don't wanna out anyone in particular) and all of the images that i was able to see using the wayback machine brought the nostalgia i've wanted for years. i almost cried lol. i remember little me being so proud to be a staff member and people came to me to draw something just for them. there's something about that time on the internet that always sticks with me. maybe it's because years later i'm still kinda doing that. or maybe i'm mourning a community that doesn't, and can't, exist anymore.

anyway, if anyone from those days is somehow seeing this, rii says hi.

quick q: is anyone a doctor? i need one pls

next: this is a psa that the following things are not allowed into the venue when my shows are playing:
1. your dad. (polite but tends to get lost and sleepy)
2.your pets (because i cannot pet them alll
3: Lists of villages in Norway
5. your dad (he wasnt' listening)
6. /
7. ai glasses (you will be thrown out and subsequently clowned on)

also, i have been receiving complaints about venues i played at not letting people bring their own bottles and stuff. i get why it's annoying bc i want people to hydrate at my shows but i legit can't do anything about that. it's for my safety as well as the safety of other fans. i'm trying really hard to make it so that people can at least bring their own sealed wated botter. i'm not taylor swift, i don't want any fans to get injured OR DIE at one of my shows*

thanks for listening. anyway, my health condition has NOT improved so that's why i'm so quiet! sorry!!!!!

*putting a hex on someone and dying of heat exhaustion are not the same thing

also surprise(?) i'm in the new rhythm heaven! (not a surprise to a lot of people but oh well)

a little fun fact about me: i sometimes message random fans who i notice foam at the mouth over my music, and generally are supportive of my creative endevours, and ask if they want to listen to something i'm working on that basically no one except me and my husband have heard. this is always met with much enthusiasm, and 9 times out of 10 people just reply with "HOLY SHIT MOM WHAT A BOP!" or the :evedance: emote spammed 50 times. this means a lot to me, but it's also a chance for those people who i know love what i do to tell me if there is something they think i should change. most people flat out tell me no. they're just happy to listen to something new.

yesterday, i sent a complete stranger my new and, as of right now, untitled citypop-inspired song. i asked them what they thought about the melody, the lyrics, anything they notice that they like. this person tells me that "this song is definitely about someone they knew" and "the chorus is insanely catchy." to me, that means they understood what i was trying to convey. at the very least, think it's objectively a "good" or at least "decent" song.

shortly after i thanked them for their time and input, they tell me that they believed that "i was wasting my talents on video game music." i thought that was super interesting as they were very obviously a fan of my video game music. but also, that's not the first time i've been told that. i asked them why they said that, but i haven't received a response.

no one seems to answer me when i ask that. i wonder why that is?

since i'm still "on leave" recovering from surgical nonsense, i've been working hard on my crap site. most of it went into the music page, which was the point of having the site up, but tbh this is a thing i've been wanting to do for a long time. still very much a work in progress but the idea is that i can rely less on social media (which i dislike) and can post whatever i want, as well as any important information that i didn't put on the front page. please be patient with me because i am not feeling well these days while dealing with life.